📦FREE SHIPPING on $35 order or more

  • The Perfect gift for Promotions, Demotions, EAS, Plaques, shadowboxes, etc.

  • DISCLAIMER: DO NOT wear these items on your uniform! We are not affiliated with DoD in any way. No disrespect to the military, these are just meant to be funny gifts.
  • Penis Officer Ranks

  • 1pc for the service cap
  • PIZZA BOX badge(USMC)

  • E4 MAFIA shield RANK (Army)

The Perfect gift for Promotions, Demotions, EAS, Plaques, shadowboxes, etc.

DISCLAIMER: DO NOT wear these items on your uniform! We are not affiliated with DoD in any way. No disrespect to the military, these are just meant to be funny gifts.

Penis Officer Ranks

1pc for the service cap buy now

PIZZA BOX badge(USMC)

buy now

E4 MAFIA shield RANK (Army)

buy now

🔥BEST OF THE WORST🔥

  • ARTICLE 15 - (army)
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    $ 13.99
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    $ 13.99
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  • N.U.M - (u.s.m.c / Navy)
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    $ 13.99
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    $ 13.99
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  • PENIS OFFICER RANKS (Navy)
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    $ 9.99
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    $ 9.99
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  • DRUNKEN CROW - 3rd CLASS (Navy)🍺
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    $ 9.99
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    $ 9.99
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  • BLUE FALCON MEDAL - NEW!
    Regular price
    $ 13.99
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    $ 13.99
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  • HIGH FUNCTIONING ALCOHOLIC 🔥(real bottle opener)
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    $ 13.99
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    $ 13.99
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  • PIZZA BOX 🍕 (u.s.m.c)
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    $ 12.99
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    $ 12.99
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  • MARINE TO-DO LIST📝
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    $ 4.99
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    $ 4.99
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  • 50 CAL. STYLE BOTTLE OPENER
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    $ 9.99
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    $ 9.99
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  • GOOD COOKIE 🍪
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    $ 13.99
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    $ 13.99
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WHY DO WE DO IT?

For the once motivated but now SALTY, DISGRUNTLED, JADED, DISILLUSIONED, service member. You've been passed up for promotion, your hard work has gone overlooked, so now you just wanna spread some discontent on the way out. We're Vets and active duty ourselves... we get it. Enjoy

PEACETIME VETERAN

"thnk me 4 my cervix"

NOW available in CAMO 😎 

BUY NOW

BANNED MEDALS

  • GAMER ELITE 🎮
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    $ 13.99
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    $ 13.99
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  • BIG DIPPER
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    $ 13.99
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    $ 13.99
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  • SKATE CHAMP
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    $ 13.99
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    $ 13.99
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  • N.J.P AWARD
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    $ 13.99
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    $ 13.99
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  • EXPERT CLEANER🧹
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    $ 13.99
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    $ 13.99
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  • EXPERT JANITOR
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    $ 13.99
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    $ 13.99
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  • KEYBOARD COMMANDO💻
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    $ 13.99
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    $ 13.99
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  • BIGGEST F'N POG
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    $ 13.99
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    $ 13.99
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  • FILTHY FLASK AWARD - NEW!
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    $ 13.99
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    $ 13.99
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  • LEAST FUCKS GIVEN 🖕
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    $ 13.99
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    $ 13.99
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  • 3RD CLASS P.F.T 🐖
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    $ 13.99
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    $ 13.99
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  • WORST SOLDIER EVER (army)
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    $ 13.99
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    $ 13.99
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ALL U.S.M.C RANKS NOW BUY 1 PAIR @ $9.99

GET 1 PAIR @ 50% OFF

UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE😎

BUY NOW

WRETCHED RANK

  • PFC SECOND AWARD😎
    Regular price
    $ 9.99
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    $ 9.99
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  • LANCE PENIS (usmc)
    Regular price
    $ 9.99
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    $ 9.99
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  • MECHANIC RANKS (usmc)
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    from $ 9.99
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    from $ 9.99
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  • LANCE COMMANDANT OF THE MARINE CORPS (u.s.m.c)
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    $ 9.99
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    $ 9.99
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  • LANCE JANITOR RANK
    Regular price
    $ 9.99
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    $ 9.99
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  • LANCE CRIMINAL RANK
    Regular price
    $ 9.99
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    $ 9.99
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  • M16 LANCE CORPORAL
    Regular price
    $ 9.99
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    $ 9.99
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  • E4 MAFIA SPECIALIST (army)
    Regular price
    $ 9.99
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    $ 9.99
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  • LANCE MOSQUITO WINGS
    Regular price
    $ 5.99
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    $ 5.99
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    $ 9.99
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ADDICTING APPAREL

  • PEACETIME VETERAN - NEW!
    Regular price
    $ 23.99
    Sale price
    $ 23.99
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  • BLUE FALCON OF MARINES
    Regular price
    $ 22.99
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    $ 22.99
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  • FIGHTING FALCON - FUTUE TE IPSUM
    Regular price
    $ 22.99
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    $ 22.99
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  • BLUE FALCON vs. GREEN WEENIE
    Regular price
    $ 22.99
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    $ 22.99
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sick slaps

  • PEACETIME VETERAN - SLAP
    Regular price
    $ 4.99
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    $ 4.99
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  • BLUE FALCON vs. GREEN WEENIE - SLAP
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    $ 4.99
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    $ 4.99
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KICK-ASS COINS

  • FOOL ME ONCE, NEVER AGAIN/DONT EVEN ASK (u.s.m.c) 🖕
    Regular price
    $ 9.99
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    $ 9.99
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  • 5pc CHALLENGE COIN SET - Best Value !!
    Regular price
    $ 29.99
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    $ 29.99
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  • LANCE CRIMINAL (u.s.m.c)
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    $ 9.99
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    $ 9.99
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  • AIN'T NO PARTY LIKE A WORKIN' PARTY
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    $ 9.99
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    $ 9.99
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  • BARRACKS RAT
    Regular price
    $ 9.99
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    $ 9.99
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  • FIRST JANITOR DIVISION/LCPL OF THE MARINE CORPS
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    $ 9.99
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    $ 9.99
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BITCHIN' BADGES

  • JANITOR EXPERT BADGE (u.s.m.c)
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    $ 12.99
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    $ 12.99
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  • RIFLE UNQ'D BADGE (u.s.m.c)
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    $ 12.99
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    $ 12.99
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  • E-TOOL EXPERT BADGE (u.s.m.c)
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    $ 12.99
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    $ 12.99
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  • RIFLE GOD BADGE (u.s.m.c)
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    $ 12.99
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    $ 12.99
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  • RIFLE JEDI BADGE (u.s.m.c)
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    $ 12.99
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    $ 12.99
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  • 4pc JANITOR EXPERT SET - Best Value !
    Regular price
    $ 35.99
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    $ 35.99
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  • PIZZA BOX 🍕 (u.s.m.c)
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    $ 12.99
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    $ 12.99
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  • RIFLE JEDI BADGE (u.s.m.c)
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    $ 12.99
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    $ 12.99
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  • RIFLE MASTER BADGE (u.s.m.c)
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    $ 12.99
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    $ 12.99
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Want your own exclusive products to help improve your brand? We can make them for you!

Testimonials

I swear when I find who made these I'm going to throw the UCMJ at them..

               

Some Dick Senior enlisted somewhere

Help! I just spent my haircut money on these dope ass medals!

 

Some boot Private some place

If you continue to make any more insanely amazing gear, I'm going to spray everywhere...!

Your mom

Back in my day, we didn't spend our pay on such nonsense.

Some crusty ass First Sergeant who doesn't get it.

EPIC military fails🤣

RANDOM THOUGHTS