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  • The perfect gift you didn't know you needed

  • Lance Janitor Rank (USMC)

  • E-tool Expert

The perfect gift you didn't know you needed

Lance Janitor Rank (USMC)

E-tool Expert

🔥BEST OF THE WORST🔥

  • PENIS OFFICER 3rd CLASS (Navy)
    Regular price
    $ 9.99
    Sale price
    $ 9.99
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  • PFC SECOND AWARD😎
    Regular price
    $ 9.99
    Sale price
    $ 9.99
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  • BLUE FALCON MEDAL - NEW!
    Regular price
    $ 13.99
    Sale price
    $ 13.99
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  • FILTHY FLASK AWARD - NEW!
    Regular price
    $ 14.99
    Sale price
    $ 14.99
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  • HIGH FUNCTIONING ALCOHOLIC 🔥(real bottle opener)
    Regular price
    $ 13.99
    Sale price
    $ 13.99
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  • LEAST FUCKS GIVEN
    Regular price
    $ 13.99
    Sale price
    $ 13.99
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  • DRUNKEN CROW - 3rd CLASS (Navy)🍺
    Regular price
    $ 9.99
    Sale price
    $ 9.99
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  • 50 CAL. STYLE BOTTLE OPENER - NEW!
    Regular price
    $ 13.99
    Sale price
    $ 13.99
    Regular price
    $ 17.99
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  • GOOD COOKIE 🍪
    Regular price
    $ 13.99
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    $ 13.99
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WHY DO WE DO IT?

For the once motivated but now SALTY, DISGRUNTLED, JADED, DISILLUSIONED, service member. You've been passed up for promotion, your hard work has gone overlooked, so now you just wanna spread some discontent on the way out. We're Vets and active duty ourselves... we get it. Enjoy

HAPPY VETERANS DAY!

BANNED MEDALS

  • GAMER ELITE 🎮
    Regular price
    $ 13.99
    Sale price
    $ 13.99
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  • BIG DIPPER
    Regular price
    $ 13.99
    Sale price
    $ 13.99
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  • SKATE CHAMP
    Regular price
    $ 13.99
    Sale price
    $ 13.99
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  • N.J.P AWARD
    Regular price
    $ 13.99
    Sale price
    $ 13.99
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  • EXPERT CLEANER
    Regular price
    $ 13.99
    Sale price
    $ 13.99
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    per 
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  • EXPERT JANITOR
    Regular price
    $ 13.99
    Sale price
    $ 13.99
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  • 3RD CLASS P.F.T 🐖
    Regular price
    $ 13.99
    Sale price
    $ 13.99
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  • WORST SOLDIER EVER (army)
    Regular price
    $ 13.99
    Sale price
    $ 13.99
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  • BIGGEST F'N POG
    Regular price
    $ 13.99
    Sale price
    $ 13.99
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  • KEYBOARD COMMANDO
    Regular price
    $ 13.99
    Sale price
    $ 13.99
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If they don't notice your hard work, why would they notice your rank?

WRETCHED RANK

  • PFC SECOND AWARD😎
    Regular price
    $ 9.99
    Sale price
    $ 9.99
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  • PENIS OFFICER 3rd CLASS (Navy)
    Regular price
    $ 9.99
    Sale price
    $ 9.99
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    per 
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  • LANCE PENIS (usmc)
    Regular price
    $ 9.99
    Sale price
    $ 9.99
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  • MECHANIC RANKS
    Regular price
    from $ 9.99
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    from $ 9.99
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  • LANCE COMMANDANT OF THE MARINE CORPS (u.s.m.c)
    Regular price
    $ 9.99
    Sale price
    $ 9.99
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  • LANCE JANITOR RANK
    Regular price
    $ 9.99
    Sale price
    $ 9.99
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  • E4 MAFIA SPECIALIST (army)
    Regular price
    $ 9.99
    Sale price
    $ 9.99
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  • 5pc LAPEL RANK SET - Best Value !
    Regular price
    $ 29.99
    Sale price
    $ 29.99
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ADDICTING APPAREL

  • PEACETIME VETERAN - NEW!
    Regular price
    $ 23.99
    Sale price
    $ 23.99
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    per 
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  • BLUE FALCON OF MARINES
    Regular price
    $ 22.99
    Sale price
    $ 22.99
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  • FIGHTING FALCON - FUTUE TE IPSUM
    Regular price
    $ 22.99
    Sale price
    $ 22.99
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KICK-ASS COINS

  • FOOL ME ONCE, NEVER AGAIN/DONT EVEN ASK (u.s.m.c)
    Regular price
    $ 9.99
    Sale price
    $ 9.99
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  • 5pc CHALLENGE COIN SET - Best Value !!
    Regular price
    $ 29.99
    Sale price
    $ 29.99
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    per 
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  • LANCE CRIMINAL (u.s.m.c)
    Regular price
    $ 9.99
    Sale price
    $ 9.99
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  • AIN'T NO PARTY LIKE A WORKIN' PARTY
    Regular price
    $ 9.99
    Sale price
    $ 9.99
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  • BARRACKS RAT
    Regular price
    $ 9.99
    Sale price
    $ 9.99
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  • FIRST JANITOR DIVISION/LCPL OF THE MARINE CORPS
    Regular price
    $ 9.99
    Sale price
    $ 9.99
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BITCHIN' BADGES

  • JANITOR EXPERT BADGE (u.s.m.c)
    Regular price
    $ 12.99
    Sale price
    $ 12.99
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  • E-TOOL EXPERT BADGE (u.s.m.c)
    Regular price
    $ 12.99
    Sale price
    $ 12.99
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  • RIFLE UNQ'D BADGE (u.s.m.c)
    Regular price
    $ 12.99
    Sale price
    $ 12.99
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  • 4pc JANITOR EXPERT SET - Best Value !
    Regular price
    $ 29.99
    Sale price
    $ 29.99
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  • RIFLE GOD BADGE (u.s.m.c)
    Regular price
    $ 12.99
    Sale price
    $ 12.99
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  • RIFLE JEDI BADGE (u.s.m.c)
    Regular price
    $ 12.99
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    $ 12.99
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  • RIFLE JEDI BADGE (u.s.m.c)
    Regular price
    $ 12.99
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    $ 12.99
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  • RIFLE MASTER BADGE (u.s.m.c)
    Regular price
    $ 12.99
    Sale price
    $ 12.99
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Want your own exclusive products to help improve your brand? We can make them for you!

Testimonials

I swear when I find who made these I'm going to throw the UCMJ at them..

               

Some Dick Senior enlisted somewhere

Help! I just spent my haircut money on these dope ass medals!

 

Some boot Private some place

If you continue to make any more insanely amazing gear, I'm going to spray everywhere...!

Your mom

Back in my day, we didn't spend our pay on such nonsense.

Some crusty ass First Sergeant who doesn't get it.

EPIC military fails🤣