FOR: exceptional dedication and devotion to giving the Least Fucks during your time with the U.S Armed Forces. Since arriving, your tireless efforts and personal sacrifice to giving the least fucks while simultaneously providing a continuously safe environment made a positive impact and contributed greatly to the success of the United States Armed Forces during your time. For the courage you've shown in the face of hazardous situations such as smoke pit police calls, working parties, weapons cleaning, and field ops exercises. The Fucks you did not give reflects great credit upon you, the United States Armed Forces and all of America. May your extraordinary efforts in maintaining and securing your fucks be an example to the rest of us. - The President of The United States
* Each one made from the best metals with the highest degree of detail.