While assuming the post of the highest Marine Corps E-3, you will carefully and diligently demonstrate to your fellow E-3's how to skate out of working parties, police calls, and all other various types of dumb shit. Accordingly, you will utilize the PFC's & PVT's within your immediate vicinity to complete your assigned duties, so that you may go back to getting drunk and causing all sorts of general fuckery. You will pass on the ancient skill of looking like you give a fuck while at the same time giving none. - Commandant
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